What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why can't my adopted sister accept she is not part of my family because she isn't related? Why can't she stop calling my parents mum and dad?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

True - how I loved my mum!

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What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What is the original source of the discord between Princes Harry and William? Does it go back to their childhood, or did it start with Meghan Markle?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What do you mean son?

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Do you know what she said mum?

What! how could you do that?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Do humans know everything they need to know?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.